Hopeless

Exhausted, I finally plopped down in my favorite corner of the couch to write a bit and jam to some I-Tunes stuff. It's been a long week of meetings, a month of mail, and moving Mountain to John Carroll. On top of that, this week has been rough as I experience my first birthday without my dad. If you've ever lost someone close, you may know this pain.

So I'm escaping with some music in my ears, and my shuffle lands on Breaking Benjamin's "Hopeless." Nope sorry, not a Christian band. I love the lyrics though. Here's a band wrestling with real life:

"Silent I go under, I am not afraid
I can see the daylight shine and slowly drift away
Safe to say it's over, sink into the grave
There is nothing left inside but I am wide awake
I can hear the devil call my name

Hopeless, I'm falling down
Filthy, I can't wake up
I cannot hold on. I will not let go
Worthless, it's over now
Guilty there's no way out
I cannot hold on, I will not let go"

Ever felt that hopeless? Ever been that down, like you're falling and you can't hold on? "It's over now." Stats show that about 71% of pastors wrestle with depression. If these people claim a connection with God and they feel like losers, I wonder what that means for everyone else?

Most of us have moments when we are down. These can last days, maybe weeks, months, or even years. You know those moments. Maybe you're there now. Maybe it was the failure where you really blew it with your kids, your friends, your parents, your spouse. Was it the divorce, the death, the disappointment? The insult, the ignorance? Your own inadequacy? Fear? You don't have to work hard to relive that moment. You remember how you felt. If you honestly can't think of any of those moments, you'll probably wasting the rest of your time here.

Now the churchy thing for me to say would be, "You'll be okay, just give it to God." If that works for you, great. For most of us, it isn't that easy.

We're in good company though. We're a week away from Holy Week, a time when many who follow Jesus remember his excruciating journey to the cross. The nails. The beatings. The pain.

One writer's account of Jesus' last words have him saying this: "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

This was the first line of a song. Not Breaking Benjamin's "Hopeless," but Psalm 22, a song his hearers would have known well. At first, it sounds pretty hopeless. A lot like:

"Safe to say it's over, sink into the grave
There is nothing left inside"

But, and you know this, looks can be deceiving. If you have a Bible, read Psalm 22 now. If not, check it out here: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%2022&version=NIV

What begins as despair ends in triumph. Jesus was battered, but he was not beaten!

In coping with the loss of my father, there have been times when I've felt pretty hopeless. This week has been one of them. This has been a long "moment" for me. I don't know what your "moment" was, but let me say this. It is a moment, it is not eternity. The answer is not avoiding it or giving up. Whatever you are going through, we have got to face it head on.

If that moment happened in the past and you never resolved it, go dig it up now. If it's happening now, face it head on. Call her. Take him to lunch and tell him. Swallow your pride and apologize. Confront whoever brought you down. Breathe deeply and tackle that workload one little chunk at a time. Realize that you are good enough! Don't give up on that person. Work it out.

Jesus' song ends with victory, but what about Breaking Benjamin's? Check out that last line one more time:

"Guilty there's no way out
I cannot hold on, I will not let go"

In a song so hopeless, there is hope. In spite of all the pain, guilt, and filth, these guys aren't letting go. In my moment, I am going to hold on, I'm not letting go! May God give each of us the courage to do the same!